I cannot pretend to be a non-believer

Hello. I have been in a series of beautiful preaching and talks just last week. It was pretty amazing. The Pastor dropped serious points that I need to keep in my heart if I’m really serious about Christianity. I mean… what is Christianity, really? When did I become a Christian myself? Someone from the church asked me this question and I did tell my whole tale with all honesty the best I can. I am a pastor’s kid. I know how to act christian and how to talk christian but what I cannot do is to pretend not to be a christian. I just realize this one. Being a believer of Jesus Christ has became actually my identity. I feel so fake whenever I act worldly. I mean if I am trying to be cool and stuff. I just couldn’t dance that music even if I try so hard OR even if I pulled it off, after a day or two I hate the feeling. I cannot take it. Something in my heart and soul just wanna go back to God and say sorry to him and be with him. I guess that is the Holy Spirit living in me. He Actually the one who is controlling my thoughts unnoticely. I am in flesh, my thoughts would be wicked but at the end of the day and I mean every day the Spirit of God would just be around me as if it is walking side by side with me. Do I sound creepy now? or have you other christians felt the same way… cause I do. I cannot deny God in my life and his presence and guidance and everything!

I am amazed by the fact that his invisibility is so visible in my life in a very supernatural way. God is real. He is alive. And I love him. I may rebel at times but I know deep in my heart I will always go back to him like a child longing for their parents. I am that child looking for my father in heaven every time I know I am not acting right. I will always want to please him and obey him. Like everything about him matters to me. That’s miracle. How can you have a relationship to someone you do not see? I cannot explain that… it is just what it is. It is the evidence of Faith. You can only understand this phenomenon if you experience it yourself.

So, yes, I am a Christian not because I was raised in a Christian home but because I experience the power and presence of God myself through my faith in the name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Lord. Amen.

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