I got certified

I got certified as a teacher here in Ontario. What a great privilege and a blessing. I am in shocked and I can’t believe I have made this far. I lift up to God all the praises and glory. Looking back, I used to be bullied by many people. I was a shy girl. I don’t talk much…I was afraid of people in general. I feel like they will hurt me, or do something bad to me. But, the Lord changed my life. He showed me his love, his peace, and his joy. I learned to trust him, and I saw how he mold me and educate me through his words. I remember reading the book of Proverbs. I learned wisdom on how to treat others and how I react or interact with them. The bible has been my teacher of life. The reality of life, how people think, motives of people, nature of people… so it is then I become more understanding of them. More patient, and really recognize that no one in this earth is ever greater than the Lord. No one can boast before God. Nobody can say they are perfect because if they do they’ll be lying and they know that. So yes, I have really changed from being a shy girl to a girl who knows exactly who she is in the sight of the Lord Jesus Christ, that I am loved, beautifully and fearfully made by him. My confidence is 100% of the Lord. I am nothing, and He is everything… that what’s makes me whole. My achievements are his. My goals and aspiration are all fuel by my love for him. Striving to be better, and useful while my life breathes on earth so that one day when I see my Lord face to face, I could present to him the gift that he has bestowed upon me, and he’ll know that I’ve used it up and not wasted it to glorify his precious name.

Revelation

God showed me today a mirror. I have to admit. I always asking God to take my life because I feel it is not worth to live in this sinful world. I’m just sick of living a life full of troubles, resposibilities etc. I feel so overwhelmed. It is a sin. I know it. And I have asked the Lord to forgive my thoughts. However, God showed me more of the reason why I shouldn’t be that way… I have met someone who is fighting for her life. She has a very rare type of Cancer. Despite all the pain and suffering she is experiencing she is still choosing to fight and live. I feel so ashamed of myself for wanting to end my life while another person wants to live. I do not deserve this life but God gave it to me anyways. I’m so ungrateful of all the things God has given to. Too bad!! I’m so sorry Lord.

Maybe the Lord is telling me how to live my life. It should be a life where it brings joy to people. To show love to humankind, to be a great use of this world. To make most out of it.

Dear Father in heaven, I am humbly confessing my sins to you. My selfisheness and my ego centric view of life. I know I am here for a reason and I should not waste my time.

Lord, help me. Help me see the things you wanted me do. Give me courage to do it. And make my life count here on earth. AMEN.

I cannot pretend to be a non-believer

Hello. I have been in a series of beautiful preaching and talks just last week. It was pretty amazing. The Pastor dropped serious points that I need to keep in my heart if I’m really serious about Christianity. I mean… what is Christianity, really? When did I become a Christian myself? Someone from the church asked me this question and I did tell my whole tale with all honesty the best I can. I am a pastor’s kid. I know how to act christian and how to talk christian but what I cannot do is to pretend not to be a christian. I just realize this one. Being a believer of Jesus Christ has became actually my identity. I feel so fake whenever I act worldly. I mean if I am trying to be cool and stuff. I just couldn’t dance that music even if I try so hard OR even if I pulled it off, after a day or two I hate the feeling. I cannot take it. Something in my heart and soul just wanna go back to God and say sorry to him and be with him. I guess that is the Holy Spirit living in me. He Actually the one who is controlling my thoughts unnoticely. I am in flesh, my thoughts would be wicked but at the end of the day and I mean every day the Spirit of God would just be around me as if it is walking side by side with me. Do I sound creepy now? or have you other christians felt the same way… cause I do. I cannot deny God in my life and his presence and guidance and everything!

I am amazed by the fact that his invisibility is so visible in my life in a very supernatural way. God is real. He is alive. And I love him. I may rebel at times but I know deep in my heart I will always go back to him like a child longing for their parents. I am that child looking for my father in heaven every time I know I am not acting right. I will always want to please him and obey him. Like everything about him matters to me. That’s miracle. How can you have a relationship to someone you do not see? I cannot explain that… it is just what it is. It is the evidence of Faith. You can only understand this phenomenon if you experience it yourself.

So, yes, I am a Christian not because I was raised in a Christian home but because I experience the power and presence of God myself through my faith in the name of my Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Lord. Amen.